The Five Sluttiest Wedding Dresses
77
That Special Day
(Note: The pictures for this article come from manofest.com. All the text is original.)
The wedding day is a special day in every woman's life. One she dreams of from the time she is a little girl right up until the 'big day', and it's a day on which she wants to feel like a princess. Months and months have gone into the preparations, from the caterers to the flowers. She goes to the spa for a facial, a pedicure and a manicure. She has her hair done at the most expensive hairdresser in town. The rehearsal dinner is organized, the reception hall chosen and paid for, and the entertainment carefully selected. Perhaps most important element of all is the wedding dress.
The dress might be purchased new for a small fortune or may have been handed down for generations, from grandmother to mother to daughter, and expertly tailored to emphasize the bride's lovely figure and femininity. It comes as no surprise that above all, the dress is the single iconic representation of the wedding itself, and reflects the brides feelings and sensibilities, a beautifully wrapped package to be presented to the lucky boy who will excitedly open his gift that very evening on the honeymoon.
So why would some brides dress like sluts? I could go on with some psychobabble about “low self-esteem,” but the truth is I don't know. Maybe they think they're hot (or maybe they are) and they want everyone to know just what this guy is getting. Perhaps it's the natural extension of the same culture that brought us “Girls Gone Wild,” only in this case it's “Brides Gone Slutty.” The fact is, I just don't know. The best I can do is tell you the true stories of the 5 following brides and let you decide for yourself what makes them treat their wedding as if it's the bachelor party. I wouldn't like my bride to dress like this. I couldn't handle it, being the jealous type prone to sulking and donnybrooks. But I don't mind it when it's some other sucker's wife. Nope...don't mind it at all. Here then, from least to most, are the Five Sluttiest Wedding Dresses.
#5: The Teddy
It comes as no surprise that this one's called The Teddy. She even looks like she's ready for bed. Heck, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. But it would be a mistake to get involved with this woman She'll attract so many guys you'll be beating them off with a stick. You'll have to constantly be on your guard against the many guys who will try to break in on your matrimonial bliss. No, better leave this one alone, but the temptation makes it difficult.
Overheard at Wedding:
“You think she 'samples' from a lot of sources when she makes a song; wait till tonight. We'll see who she samples from when she makes her husband.”
#4: The Shorts Dress
I'm at a loss with this one. On the one hand, I suppose it fits the definition of “slutty,” but darn she looks good. It probably helps that this appears to be a model and not an actual bride. Of course, it's one thing to look at the picture and say it is attractive and appealing and quite another to be the guy marrying her. The one who must endure the the looks and salivating of the other men (and some of the women.) In the end, does she pass the mother test...would your mom like it? No. Mom wouldn't like it (but Dad would!) Sorry, I have to give it a thumbs down based on the mother test.
Overheard at Wedding:
“You knock out the groom and I'll grab the bride.”
#3: The Pillow Fight
Her story is a tragic one. She ran away to Vegas when she was 14 to become a showgirl and fulfill her lifelong dream. But after being rejected by Siegfried and Roy, she labored in the sleazy, back street casinos always vowing to make it to the big time. Her dress is actually various pieces “filched” from several different shows, including the tiara which came from the show “The Princess and the Peacock.” Things never really worked out for the bride, and now she serves drinks at Dirty Dan's Emporium. She is marrying an Elvis Impersonator.
Overheard at Wedding:
"Yes, I have an objection, Reverend. I object to that dress!"
#2: The Melon Patch
Ahhh, the dress that lets everyone know her soon-to-be husband has a boob fetish. The men in attendance will like it just fine and all will be anxiously awaiting the inevitable “wardrobe malfunction.” This is the equivalent of the groom wearing a codpiece, and seems to say “spring is busting out all over.” The bride enjoys bowling and doing jumping jacks for her appreciative man.
Overheard at Wedding:
“Holy gazongas!”
#1: The Lady Godiva
What's wrong with this picture? Look at her and then look at him. It doesn't fit. It does not compute. But on closer examination, it does make sense and here's how. The bride, Ivana Greencardavitch, is a Russian national here working at “Booties” dance club on a work visa. The guy is a customer. He is a sucker. Or maybe he knows he's being had but thinks it's worth it for just one night of wedded bliss with this heavenly woman. Too bad it won't be tonight since Ivana is scheduled for the late shift.
Overheard at Wedding:
“I wish they'd get this show on the road. The bride's meeting me back at the club for my weekly private.”
You May Now ---- the Bride
I leave you with these thoughts: Isn't it the goal of every bride to look desirable on her wedding day? To appear at her best, most alluring? To make her husband-to-be proud of winning her heart, and by extension, make others jealous? Perhaps the women who wear these dresses are simply trying to present themselves in their best light as they see it, and are guilty of nothing more than poor judgment. And perhaps for that we can find it in our hearts to forgive them, to laugh with them, to wonder and admire the female form.
Or maybe they're just sluts. Can't blame a guy for trying.
The Important Poll
Would you wear - or would you like your wife to wear - one of these dresses?
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CommentsLoading...
Although I'm not a fan of wedding dresses I must say this lens is very unique and I commend you on sharing your opinion, I must admit, I could stop going back to look at these dresses. Good content. Great pictures.
Come by and check out my lens http://hubpages.com/hub/Daycareschoolonline
So I ask myself.. "What would Velvet do?" I think sometimes somethings need to be left to the imagination.. of only 1 person.. The whole world doesn't need to see 'the goods' doncha know!
I don't need an energy drink either!
I see three people commented and three people voted, hard to figure which way I went.
goldentoad: Not me.
theleslieshow: Thanks for the comment and the compliment on my photography. I must say, I had to travel far and wide and crash a lot of weddings to get them.
Candie: It should certainly be left to everyone else's imagination, if not my own. Presumably, in this day and age, the guy is already getting the milk for free and is still buying the cow. Thanks for the visit.
LOL Ivana Greencardavitch...priceless :D
On a serious note...dress number three looked just like the dress i wore....I was told it was one of a kind...
GT: Hmmm...I have a hump..I mean a hunch, a HUNCH!
It's easy to see who marries for sex and goddamit it's the constitutional right of every tabloid loving hot blooded maniac. The delusions of sexual splendour are rampant - it produced viagra afterall. OK I'll take the soapbox and go to another page. Thanks for listening. God bless America.
I kinda like the hot pants...
Janetta: Allow me to offer my condolences. Now you know what happened to your dress when it disappeared from the back of the limo! (wink)
Jewels: Huh? Did you say sex in there somewhere?
Randy: Me too. I think it's cute.
Maybe for the wedding night though. Although it'd be a hell of a lot easier to get out of, than the damn Victorian reproduction with 33 buttons down the back that I wore.
Yeah. I was thinking this would make for some good game playing later, or even next year for the anniversary, but not at the actual wedding. Maybe we should test the "game" theory.
I like games Christoph :)
#3 isn't as much "slutty-looking" as, maybe, "coming-from-another-planet" looking.
Hey Chris
The things that go through your mind - you're funny without even trying. LOL I think the brides here were trying to make their "big day" memorable not only for themselves but for all their guests. I mean who could forget The Melon Patch or the Mariah Carey when you see one? My point exactly! :D
If I had to choose one it would be the hot pants, looks better than most meringue style wedding dresses in MHO
I vote for flaunting. hehe Great hub Chris and thanks for the melons too. Wish I could have been there.
those chicas had HOOD RAT written all over their mugs...LOL
Crikey I beat raiderfan to this Hub, thats a first. ;-)
Nice photos mate, I haven't got around to reading the text yet.
Oh, there was some wasn't there ?
Randi: Let the games begin!
Lisa HW: Agreed! But on her planet, that is slutty.
Jenatta, can we see your wedding pictures?
I had a friend who went to Stergis for the HD bike rally. At the rally there was a wedding and the bride changed into you wedding dress in front of every one. At one point she bent over and flipped everyone off with her head and finger finger between her legs being butt naked and some other unmentionable things were done. I can tell that that would be one big happy marriage.
Did that wake you up Toad?
Keep on Hubbing!
Cris A: I already can't forget them, and I wasn't even there.
Gypsy: I would choose Hot Pants just because I can. Not sure what MHO is.
Ralwus: I am shocked, SHOCKED I say, that you would vote for flaunting it.
Pachuca: Ha, ha! gotta love "hood rat." I'll be your Pachuco any day! Lemme get my Zoot suit!
hairy: Text? What's that?
eovery: That's an excellent suggestion. How about it, Janetta? My we see your photographs?
Speaking of photos...did you get one of the girl at the rally, eovery?
Orale!!! Now you're talkin my language ese!!!!
Pachuka: Ay carumba. Is it getting hot in here? Ole!
Just one word.....yowza.
KCC: Yowza wowza shalakabam! Thanks for coming by and the expletive!
Might explain why my oldest daughter was born 9 months and 15 minutes after the wedding....
Laughing Mom: Let's see...that would put you somewhere in transit to the reception. I admire a woman who knows what she wants and gets it!
LM for reals? WOW...At least yours was after the wedding...Mine was about a year before LOL ha ha ha ha
I think my browser is blushing...the pix don't show. However the description and the overheards, sparked off my fertile imagination. Will be back later to see if they finally are visible.
Traditional is my favorite when it comes to wedding dresses and such. And, the hot pants dresses brings back memories when I wore hotpants while in High School, it was the rage then among teenagers. Poor Mom! LOL!
Pictures please of your teen years VioletSun. email me with attachments
dianacharles: Aw, poor browser. Oh well, you're not missing anything, just the 5 sluttiest wedding dresses which you would NOT believe how Risque they are! Whooo! Unbelievable!
Violet: Yes, your poor Mom must have been beside herself with worry. Her little girl walking around half naked. I remember hot pants too. It was a great time for teenage boys!
Ralwus: You must be getting quite a picture collection!
I kinda like the lead picture...which didn't make the top 5. I'd wear something like that...*nods*
Sadly, #2 would still do a great coverage job on me.
They make my wedding dress look decidedly boring-what with it being long, covers all my bits in the correct places and not see thur! :-) Great hub!
Spryte: The lead photo is from a Russian mail-order bride site. I wonder what that says about you? Hmmm. Do you like the cold? How do you feel about borscht? Russian vodka is made from......?
Just checking.
awsomeness: That is how it should be. Thank you for the comment.
Where do you find this stuff? Genious! :)
Oh my god oh my god! The melon patch OH MY GOD! I can barely type, I'm laughing so hard -- the "Overheard at Wededing" bits are just the cherry on the cake ... or better said, the MELONS! Laughing histerically!
Hell Yeah!
Can't say I am much into weddings, but slutty is always interesting ;)
I reserve the right to wear or not wear whatever I want. Often times though, I think it may be more alluring to men to cover up some of your assets. I am reminded of the movie Memoirs of a Geisha. Those ladies are very alluring, and they did it in kimonos.
But then again I am not a man, so what do I know :)
Tom Cornett: It comes to me in dreams, Tom. Thank you for the visit!
Elena: Ha, ha! Yes. I think the "Melon Patch" wedding is the one I'd most like to attend. I can hear the preacher now: "I now pronounce you cantaloupe and honeydew...I mean...casaba and watermelon...I mean...."
Thanks so much for your comment Elena!
raiderfan: I have a pretty good guess how you voted in the poll. Too slutty, right? Ha, ha.
Aya: I didn't see the movie but read the book. Very intriguing. I think the question of whether it's more alluring to cover up than to expose is a complicated one. My inclination is to say, "Of course, that's true." But then I think it's pretty alluring to see a half-naked woman.
I'm sure you do reserve the right to dress however you want. Anime chicks always do. Thank you for coming by.
What Is so bad about slutty ?
I agree with Aya_Hajime and you of course, that a fair percentage of cover up is by far the best look at a wedding - mystery and modesty goes a long way - btw the way I read and also saw the movie "Memoirs of a Geisha". I think the the book was better but I enjoyed both ...however when it comes to your new look wedding dresses I think that "melon" dress really takes the look to it's enth degree...very alluring, holds such a lot of promise (in the spillage/ OH&S area) - don't you think?..cheers
tony: And...what's so funny bout peace, love, and understanding.
ajcor: Yes. I think the melon dress must be taped in place or something. I don't like drawing attention to myself in public, preferring to observe, but if a woman I was with was dressed like that, especially my wife, then i would get loads of attention just because I was with her. Thanks for the visit, aj!
chris..do you think that your wife would go for any of those looks (ie melon girl) and if so would you let her out of the house with you by her side ???
I remember quite quite some time ago I was going to a party and I had a slight bit of cleavage showing (not even a tenth of the melon girl look)and my 1st mother-in-love wouldn't agree with me actually going out like that - she suggested I change... so i did...cheers
ajcor: No, she would never, but of course she doesn't look like that either, but still she wouldn't. i wonder if it would be a different thing if it were just a date or night out on the town? Does she believe the wedding is a place where that could be done but not in normal life? I wonder.
I have no objection to a bit of cleavage, and think it is nice and fine and perfectly proper. This dress, well, she may as well not be wearing a top at all.
chris I think think for one minute that she looked anything like that! and I think it would be abnormal to dress at any time like this - wedding day or not - must be skewed in their thinking or extroverted or attention seeking - who knows what goes inside people's heads - maybe it was on a dare or maybe even her husband-to-be asked her - sometimes life can be stranger than fiction....
ps have tagged and twittered this
ajcor: Yes. It takes a lot of... something to dress like that under any circumstances. Life CAN be stranger than fiction. It's a classic case of "you could put it in a book but nobody would believe it." Thanks, aj!
And thanks for the tag and the tweet!
Though I enjoy watching others putting on any one of those, I will never get my wife to wear them :P
I like the The Bridal Bikini for a beach wedding/party but it would need to be bikini dress code for all the guests, so some people like mother in law and aunt Agatha would need to be banned from the guest list ;-) -don't worry not any remote danger of something like that ever happening!
I like what they are wearing and as long as they are good women, who cares what they dress like.
MSmithHub: Nor mine. Thanks for the comment.
Princessa: Princessa, I for one, would like to see you wear any of these dresses, perhaps for night games? And I don't think your aunt and Mother-in-law will accept being banned from anything either! Thanks for stopping by!
logic,commonsense: Not I. Thanks for the comment.
Christoph, I've sent a special delivery note to Janetta, and bring her photo album.. I saw she's just full of surprises, hiding behind her 40's movie star looks and all!!
Candie V: I'd prefer to see her in the Hot Pants dress. Classy, but hot.
ROFL I think the priest would ban us from entering the church! But among these sluttiest dresses, the hot pants bridal dress wins. I don't like the melon patch :-)
I kind of like them Christoph, hahaha, well they certainly are unique. I would wear the hot pants one, the others a bit over the top ROFL. Great choices. Can you ship me that one out please?, in case I ever get to walk down the aisle. How much with freight.? Hey and by the way Benson just told us in his new Hub how you tortured him and kidnapped him for 4 months. Ohhh you little sausage you. !!!!
Bad: Both fine specimens!
Ripplemaker: Yes, the hot pants one probably doesn't belong on the list. You could wear it on your honeymoon though!
blondepoet: I can certainly get that dress for you, but I'll have to deliver it myself. It might need to be altered so I'll have to see you try it on so I can make my expert alterations!
I had no idea I had kidnapped Benson. I'm kinda forgetful these days!
This was such a beautiful and touching Hub. I'll come back to it for ideas when my wife and I go to renew our vows!
I really like the "look at her and look at him" comment in dress #1.
Don: I'm sure your wife will be thrilled to wear any of these numbers when you review your vows. Thanks for the comment!
I'd just like to know how you got hold of my wedding pictures. Sheesh!
Teresa: Simple. I snuck in when you were having your cast removed.
Christoph, Christoph, Christoph, what will we do with you. Stooping so low as to put these slutty pics out there. Tsk...tsk...tsk...now, how about one with bridesmaid dresses? There should be some hoots amongst those!
cindyvine: I'm sure there are plenty of hideous bridesmaid dresses. This was just to bide my time until the thing was over though. Thanks for stopping by!
Lol Christoph, i WAS JUST TAKING THE PISS, GOOD HUB THOUGH. hEY, THE BRIDESMAID ONE WOULD BE A COOL FOLLOW UP one though. Jeez, my bloody finger nails keep accidentally hitting capslock.
Cindyvine: Well thanks for keeping us all up to date on your bathroom activities and your urination schedule. I'm sure it's appreciated by all! Congrats on finishing the challenge, by the way!
Well, today's sluttiness may become tomorrow's ho-hum. Our great-great-grand kids might look at these and go, "So? What's the big deal?"
Just before the mini skirt invasion hit back in the sixties, I created a designer knock-off micro mini to wear to the wedding of the sister of a guy I kind of fancied. (I won't tell where I got the muslin pattern or the polyester bias knit fabric printed in an original Peter Max design.) When the guy I thought I fancied dropped me off at home after the wedding, he told me I had embarrassed him and his family and I was nothing but a slut.
A short couple of years later...who cared about the mini skirt?
Nothing like being ahead of your time. ;p
Sally's Trove: This is true, and of course it goes back much further than your foray with the macro mini (with a Peter Max design! I'm impressed!) How daring it was to show an ankle (an ankle for heaven's sake!) I wonder if the cave people had a similar movement in "daring" loin cloths (or whatever they wore.) A good observation in light of this article.
Thanks for coming by and your astute comment (as usual.) Always a pleasure....you hussy!
Sure you can be my personal tailor anytime. You got a good eye for detail (hugs)
don't we all wish????:o) hugs
Aw Christoph, you don't understand the lingo we use in the colonies? taking the piss has nought to do with urination or bathroom ablutions. You tell him Blonde!
blondepoet: Good. I get exclusive rights!
G Ma: I wish, I wish! Hugs back at ya!
Cindyvine: I got it. It's just an odd expression is all, at least to me. I didn't really think you were talking about going to the loo.
I admit to being a hussy (thank you for the compliment), or at least presenting myself that way from time to time, depending on the need to do so.
About the cave people, "daring" was never a concept. The cave people did what came naturally...it was only with the advent of organized religion, and something called civilization, with the accompanying screwing of human minds, that naked bodies went under wraps.
The daringness of showing an ankle, or wearing a micro mini or any of these wedding gowns, would be absolutely incomprehensible to the cave man, who might have adorned him/herself with beads fashioned of saber toothed tigers' teeth as a symbol of bravery and respect. How far we have not come.
Just received Candie's note and oh so sorry to say, the pics were all stolen along with the dress :( Almost as if I never even wore it...I suppose you'll have to use your imaginations. Just imagine strikingly hot in short short shorts, boobs popping out and all that ;)
Sally's Trove: Yes. The cave people reference was meant as a joke. While clothing was developed simply as protecton from the environment, it was man - for a myriad of repressive reasons - who made nudity bad and clothing a moral consideration. Each subsequest religion has added their twisted attitudes to the mix. After all is said and done, it is really a matter of gaining contol over others. Thanks for your comment.
Janetta: Say, that's a tough break kid (yeah....right.) I guess we'll have to go with that "imagining" thing you were talking about.
I'm imagining....I'm imagining....oooo.....I'm imagining....
Oooh Christoph-- Even if i could find a pic (which I so unfortunately lost) I think HP has rules about posting those sorts of things....
I think you may have gotten the general idea by the sounds you're making up there though ;)
Oh, I've got a general idea....I'm imagining...I'm imagining...
I started writing a comment last night and my computer rebooted right in the middle. In protest, perhaps?
Was going to say that any/all of these are more than appropriate for Vegas or Tahoe weddings! In fact, it would not surprise me if they have a supply of "costumes" available for those brides whose weddings are impromptu!!
Also wanted to cast my vote for favorite dress. I like the MelonPatch. The elbow length gloves are a nice, old-fashioned and demure touch. Wonder if they were made out of the fabric left over from cutting out the bodice of the dress!
MM: I doubt that this is anything that your computer has not seen before. You're probably right about Vegas and Tahoe. The sex shots of tequila before choosing the dress probably influences decisions.
Yes, the "Melon Patch" is a dress fit for royalty. The full-length gloves lend a dignified and elegant air to the whole look, and they go so well with the tall tumbler full of booze which she holds in her left hand!
http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/419/3/400_gbundc
Did anyone else find Gisele Bundchen's dress a bit too risque, even for a supermodel? The tabloid shots I saw (at the supermarket checkout -- not that I purchased them!) emphasized the side view, which gave a lovely peek into her cheeks. Here's one that shows the front.
There seems to be a proliferation of bride related TV shows suddenly, too. Bridezillas started the trend, now there's Whose Wedding is it Anyway? and about 5 more I can't think of the names of. Then there's Say Yes to the Dress. If my fiancee said yes to any of these I think my reaction at the altar would be, "I DON'T."
What can I say ... they indeed the most memorable wedding dresses ever ... as in ever ever! But i am really curious to know the intentions behind wearing them. What's your guess Christopher?
MM: Mmmm, I don't think it's particularly flattering on her (she has that supermodel paunch thing going on) but it's not more than any of these. Perhaps the whole wedding thing is turning it into a case of "oneupsmanship," and the more risque the dress is another way to stand out and make your wedding different.
Nazishnasm: I don't know. It has been discussed here in the comments and there doesn't seem to be a defining answer. Thanks for the comment!
Haha nice. I hope you are kidding about the every girl's dream thing, because I know plenty of girls who do not want to get married and/or don't really care.
I don't think it really matters what the bride wears as long as she is happy. I just feel like wearing one of those dresses would be awkward if the bride plans on inviting her extended family. Do they really want their five year old cousins and creepy male relatives to see them in next to nothing? HMm. That's the main reason why I'd pick something that covers more skin. But I also think that wearing a white dress for any occasion is a terrible idea...especially when paired with red wine and drunk people. I understand the traditional virginal-bride-in-white thing, but usually that's bullshit so people should start picking out different colors.
haha went on a mini-rant. nice article though.
Colorsuz: Naw, I don't think it's every girl's dream, especially in this day and age. Just appealing to a particular audience - or trying to.
Good point about your creepy cousins, who probably already have fantasies about you that involve them touching themselves - am I right? Also, I'm with you on the "virginal white" thing, that has become little more than a joke. No, I think a bright red number would be best...and maybe a big scarlet "A" painted on their forehead. Ha! Just kidding.
Thanks for coming by and the comment!
Considering the state of casualness of dress overall in this country (don't know if this is occurring abroad), perhaps this level of skin showing is not unexpected. When the ushers wear shorts and flip flops in church, how can we expect brides to cover up?
Then again, maybe what we are seeing is the ultimate in practicality and frugality. Forget long, flowing trains appliqued with lace and pearls. These dresses are easy to dance in (notwithstanding the potential for cleavage leaks). Plus they are much lighter, making the groom's job of carrying his beloved over the the threshhold that much easier.
Yessir, the more I come back and look the more I wish I had another opp to walk down the aisle.
MM: Yes. I think there is certainly a progressive movement towards "showing more skin," and has been so for a long time. What used to titallate us no longer does the job, so more and more skin must be shown (and I am all for it.) It's just interesting to see it changing the traditional wedding attire as well.
Frugality? I like that. Time is money, and it certainly wouldn't take the groom long to get his new bride out of her dress (beware of her sneaking into the coat check room with a groomsman at the reception, however.)
When you have your wedding be sure to invite me. I'll even bring more than a "tall boy" of beer!
I was so happy to notice that you could click on the pics to see them in their original size. I was deeply upset at the original size of #2. I just wanted to see if... uh, oh yeah, if the trim on her dress was authentic.
Paper Moon: I know! Pissed me off too. I didn't have a choice, as these pictures are one of a kind. GRrrrrrrrrr!
To Question: The article is referenced and linked at the beginning of this article. Only the pictures came from the site (which they have no title to) but all text is original. Thanks.
The wedding dresses are too sexy. I don't like much either. I will love elegant wedding dress.
abinavis: I prefer more traditional as well, although I am not big on weddings in the first place. Thanks for the comment!
LOL Ok, this was an awesome hub.
I'm getting hitched in a month (30 days! wohoo!), and I would die if my future wife showed up in a dress like that! But then again, I wouldn't mind as much if it was just the two of us! :) In public though... no.
Xim: Thanks! Yes, to wear one of these for public consumption would be, to me, a little unnerving. As special attire for the honeymoon suite...or an anniversary, just might do the trick. Isn't the 5th anniversary the Slut Anniversary?
I can't imagine my wife wearing these slutty wedding dress...maybe on our honeymoon but not for the actual wedding ceremony!
MITB: I can imagine your wife wearing one of these dresses! Actuallly, I can't, because I don't know what she looks like. It is the same with mine. No how, no way. The subject wouldn't even be broached!
I demand that you find better resources next time. Ones with better pictures of lace close ups!
What has journalism come to? Perhaps you should look into getting your own photographer. Then again, look who is talking. Never mind. :)
Paper Moon: You speak too soon (actually, too late.) I found a slightly larger version of the dress you liked, but did you click on it to check? NNNooooooooo.
I would seriously like to take better pictures of girls dressed in revealing attire for future articles, you understand. Know anybody here in town?
What a hoot! I'm sure the guys really enjoyed this one. I loved the "overheard at the wedding" bits.
"...So why would some brides dress like sluts?" Good question! I certainly wouldn't want my kids to see pictures of me in any one of these get-ups.
alekhouse: Thanks for coming by! An interesting consideration. It could be very odd to show these pics to future kids, of course, who knows what will become standard dress in the future. Thanks so much for the comment!
thanks for share and great wedding picture
All I can say, if someone made me wear any of those dresses I would want no guests, no photography, and maybe not a wedding. I think some of those would be better for the honeymoon. You know what, if man would make dress dress even the slightest bit slutty for a wedding, I'd make him wear a low-cut top and spandex pants so I can see what I like on him.
prasetio: Thanks.
Aimee: I don't blame you. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think the males in these pictures are "making" the ladies dress that way. I think they want to. What color did you want my spandex?
The pics are funny:)
spiderpam: Thanks for coming by!
Very cute hub. I like the teddy myself (wicked lingerie fetish here). But the second one with the little hotpants works too. :)
Disturbia: Thanks for the visit! I'm sure you would look great in whichever dress you chose! Thank you for your comment.
I enjoy reading your comments with those horrible wedding dresses?! Especially how you make it sound like the others are anxciously waiting for a wardrobe malfunction?! LOL
What will they think of next?
Hi May! Gosh I haven't seen you in a long time. You were doing the HubSpam though, weren't you? Hope it went well for you! What's up? What's new?
Ah yes, a bigger pic. That is quite nice lace. I am sure you would agree if you could just feel the material.
Paper Moon: It is lovely lace, and I should very much like to feel it between my fingers.
Definitely not dresses to wear if your parents and in-laws are going to be at the wedding!! Great hub Christoph, plus very funny as always :)
hi Misty! Yes, that would definitely put the brakes on the "almost naked" plans. Thanks for the visit!
That would make the wedding more fun for sure but I'd never let my wife wear one of those, only for a private night maybe:)
bloggerdollar: But then the rest of us wont get to see. Thanks for reading and your comment!
However lovely the dresses (or lack thereof) and the supple forms of the women wearing them, I would have to agree with bloggerdollar about the private viewing...shame really....
En
Hi Enelle: Which is a shame? That they would wear these or that I won't be there to see them? Well, I can't even think of anyone I know who would even consider wearing something like this. Thanks for your comment.
I think any woman should think twice before wearing such dresses on her wedding day if she wants to show the wedding pictures to her children years later!!! Of course she would'nt want her children to think slutty of her.
Immran: I agree. A decision made today because it is daring and exciting could easily be regretted later. Thanks for the comment.
Unbelievable! I can't imagine thinking any of those get-ups would be suitable for anything other than a romp in the bedroom AFTER the wedding! In that last one, the apparent bridesmaid dressed in black is even hiding her face from the camera in shame for the non-blushing bride! Sheesh!
How enlightening! Thanks! :D
Suzanne: Bizarre, isn't it. I noticed the bridesmaid too, and she is either hiding her face, brushing her hair back, or whispering something to the bride. Probably hiding. Thanks for coming by and the comment!
Gross!
Depends on your viewpoint, I suppose.
I would've sworn that I had already commented on this hub. Huh. Must be getting old.
Okay, let's see. They're all pretty classy bridal gowns, it's too hard to choose just one. If I looked like a couple of those brides I might consider flaunting to the extreme like that (not).
You never fail to give us such entertaining words and pictures, Chris. It's always a pleasure to read your work.
It's just about 1:00 a.m., gotta sign off for the night. Have a good one and thanks for the glimpse at high fashion! :)
Shirley: Well, good night. In the meantime, I'll picture you in that last number....
I wish. Her hair's longer and straighter than mine. Otherwise, that's me, although only in my mind.
Shirley: Lol.
Hey Chris,
Amazing! I never saw wedding dresses like this before! Then again were there wedding dresses in those pictures? LOL Here's to your health, wealth and happiness!
guru: I have everything...except a woman dressed like this! lol. Thanks for the comment!
This was a riot. I've seen ugly wedding dresses before but these were really awful.
Delores: I can at least appreciate the chutzpa it would take to wear one of them! Thanks for coming by and commenting!
Hi CR what a different and unusual take on wedding dresses. Slutty and wedding hardly belong in the same sentence but you managed it.
Brilliant!
Nobody has mentioned the ministers or JPs who had to *try* to keep a straight face and their eyes in their heads while performing the ceremony! Especially for Ms Melons! You betcha Heaven was getting LOTS of "Dear Lord, help me get through this without embarassing myself"!
sixty: Thanks for your compliments but I can hardly take any credit. It's just a fun little thing to look at and as much as I try, I cannot figure out what was going through these ladies minds. I'm not objecting, mind you. Thanks for the comment!
JamaGenee: Lol. Good point (or "points," as the case may be.) That would be an interesting story: How the ministers or whatever dealt with it. Somewhere along the line, you just know somebody had to screw up! So nice to see you! Thanks!
I think the phrase:
" a titter ran through the assembly of dearly beloved gathering here together for the purpose of holy matrimony" might be appropriate?
holy cow! very interesting hub you got here... :) pls join my fan club also
sixty: Ha! I think there would be quite a hub bub when she enters the room!
Isyan: thanks for your comment.
FUNNY!! Especially #2...wowzers!!
BeautySpeaks: Thanks! Most people think number two is the most tame. I think you should wear a number 4! Thanks for the comment!
Wow, Those are disgusting! I can't believe some women actually want to wear those "dresses" on the most important day of their lives. Ridiculous.
lauralolita: It is amazing, isn't it. Thanks for your comment.
With this type of wedding dresses the groom can show the real beauty of his bride to the relations and friends and the whole world sometimes.
laswi: That would make some grooms very uncomfortable. But to each his own. I wouldn't mind being at one of these weddings, but I wouldn't want it to be mine.
Hey Chris. I'm just reading this, better late than never right? :)
Loved this! Very funny but true hub.
Truthfully though , if I had it to flaunt like these ladies I would at least think about flaunting it. ;) Well, probably not to this extreme haha.
stephanie: Thanks for coming by. Yeah, I think if I had it, I'd be a total s*ut! lol Thanks for the comment!
In the years I've been making wedding dresses I've never been asked to make any like these. Not sure what I would say if I was
Mary: You would probably say something like, "I make wedding dresses that celebrate the female form!" lol Thanks for the comment and the visit!
I don't think they are serious about the wedding. Probably they are more interested in the money rather than the marriage.
Cgull: That is certainly a possibility. Thanks for your comment!
;D I dunno, many guys would jump @ this...like K-Fed.
Ixxy: There are a few I would jump at...at least till honeymoon was over! Thnxxy Ixxy!
Ok... so I am the "if you've got it flaunt it type" what can I say? If I had a beach wedding I would love something like that Lady Godiva "dress".
I, for one, would like to see you flaunt it in that Lady Godiva dress! I'm waiting...
I could be a long wait, I need to wait for a marriage proposal first :-)
Anath: That seems like a lot to put up with just so you can wear a sexy outfit. Perhaps just a little role playing?
good looks good
OMG! Those women are quite brave I could not imagine wearing any of them on my wedding day but do have to say they are quite sexy. :)
AEvans: Hi AE! I certainly couldn't do it...but then, nobody would want me to! Thanks for comment!
I think it's part of art and symbol of freedom as long it's not nude but if designer knows how to appreciate what wedding is I am sure she will never wear that gown.
It's really bad
frizon: Thank you for the comment!
#3 and #2: new definition of a booby-trap ...
Edward: Indeed. Thanks for the comment!
I am here to veto the thumbs down on #4 based on the mom test, as it is based on insufficient evidence.
Although it is true that a mother of a 20-30 year old son might not approve of such a dress, the mother of a 45 year old, a mother who has otherwise lost all hope, would be happy with any wedding dress as long as it was attached to a bride.
film critic: You are a wise man, dispensing your Soloman-like wisdom among the masses. As for myself, if my bride looked like that, I don't think I would mind this dress under any circumstance (but maybe just on the honeymoon.) Thanks for the comment!
great hub Christ...thanks for letting me know these "outstanding" wedding dresses....however i will not going to let my gf wear these dresses on our big day hahaa...
David V: You're welcome. Glad you liked the post. I'm with you. I wouldn't mind being a guest at a wedding where the bride wore one of these, but not my wife. Thanks for the comment!
Slutty dresses? I actually liked a few of them lol. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I loved this hub.
Ahhhm, my kind of woman. No one (in their right mind) would deny you wearing anything you pleased. Thanks for the comment!
I like any bridal ideas and I'm happy to see some diversity in the wedding dress. I like the article. Very interesting and catchy :)
Wow CR, I really wish you would stop using pictures of me without my permission. Just kidding. I am really wondering though what kind of miracle substance is holding the fabric to those breasts in pic 3 and 4. That some pretty powerful stuff!
I don't know. What IS holding the fabric up? Hmmmm? I think #4 would have to walk very carefully; no running, no bouncing up and down (Of course, that would be half the fun of these dresses!)
OMG!! I feel embarrassed for these brides just looking at this! Poor judgment or what? I just don't know but I wouldn't have been caught dead wearing any of these dresses at my wedding. Of course I didn't have as much to show off but still.....
Great hub and love your writing style..just hilarious!!
Thumbs up!!
Hi Dorsi, Yes, they're very...um,stunning. Thanks for the kind words and thank-you for the comment!
Oh my...funny hub. Great ending line.
ritosolange: Thank you very much, and thanks for the comment!
I just got a sick feeling in my stomach!
Wedding Invitation Designs
Considering your business, your reaction is not surprising. My intention was not to make anyone sick though. Hope you feel better. Thanks for the comment!
CHRISTOPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MIGHTY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG, those are very stimulating clothes for a wedding! It's good that the brides even managed to wear something for her wedding! We can't blame them, it's their style anyway.
PaperNotes: I'm with you: Flaunt and let flaunt, I always say! Thanks for the comment!
..the only person who has a better profile picture than you at these pages of hub is Jesus Christ - but at least you're in good company.
..and how can any wedding dress be slutty - unless you're planning to consummate the marriage by sleeping with his best man!
Gotta love your hubs though - they're fresh, exciting, witty and - of course - essential!
epigramman: And you, Sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Hey, I don't mind the dresses. I'd like to be a guest at a couple or three of the soiree's, know what I mean? Thanks for the comment!
It's amazing what people will do. lol This just shows you how far you can go! I liked the way you wrote the first part. :)
I have seen a lot of comments saying slutty, cheap etc. but the reality is that this is a beautiful young woman in peak condition and confident in her stunningly proportioned body,You can also clearly see that her spectacular gifts are full, firm and completely natural
We should praise the brilliance of the dress maker who provides a fabulous display of the luscious ripe fruits and shares their perfection for all to see and appreciate.
This is a woman showing the World that she is about to give herself to a very lucky man for physical pleasure – she will have made every man, the vicar included, concentrate on her, desire her and envy the groom who is on the threshold of enjoying a true, natural and suitably horny female in her prime.
You can also clearly see that these are full, firm and completely natural Every man’s dream fulfilled in one incredible dress.
Andrew: Well said. I can't help but feel a little jealous when I view these pictures, and perhaps that's the point. Thanks for the comment!
Most wedding dresses could be more sexy, but these were over the top.
lifeisabeach: Umm, just a little. Thanks for the comment.
These "dresses" are the epitome of "white trash." These brides needed some kindly grandmother to take them aside and explain that there is a difference between wedding attire and honeymoon attire!
The dresses are sad.....but funny.....YOU? You're friggin hysterical! I'm wiping tears away!
fpherj48 - Thanks, friend. Glad you find me humorous. It's always nice to have people appreciate your efforts.
goldentoad 2 years ago
who needs an energy drink to wake up?