Mr. Sticky Gets Lost
75Once upon a time there was a man named
Mr. Sticky. People didn't call him Mr. Sticky because he was sticky,
but because he was as skinny as a stick. Mr. Sticky didn't mind. He
liked the name Mr. Sticky. It made him happy that people called him
anything. That's how nice of a guy Mr. Sticky was. And remember, you can click on Mr. Sticky's pictures to make them larger.
Mr. Sticky lived in a cottage with a thatched roof out in the countryside. He was very proud of his house. He liked to have people visit him in his cottage with the thatched roof. He always offered them something to eat, like milk and cookies or coffee and cake. Would you like to visit Mr. Sticky?
Oh, Mr. Sticky! He was always mixing up his words, like saying strumpets instead of crumpets. That's Ok. The strumpets tasted very good and Mr. Sticky liked to eat them. Whoops. I meant the crumpets tasted very good. Oh my!
Mr. Sticky was so nice that he carried
doggie treats in his pocket so he could give them to all the dogs in
the neighborhood. The dogs liked Mr. Sticky very much because he
always had a treat for them. He would roll out the white carpet so they wouldn't go on his beautiful lawn.
On this particular day, Mr. Sticky decided to walk into town looking for good deeds to do. There were always some old ladies who needed help crossing the street. So Mr. Sticky set out on the long journey to town. On a country lane, he saw a turtle in the road. He helped the turtle get across the street so it wouldn't get squished.
Mr. Sticky walked and walked. Finally he got to town. He said hello to Mr. Crisper the greengrocer. He said hello to Mr. Moe the barber. He said hello to Miss Blossom at the flower store, and he helped many old ladies cross the street.
Mr. Sticky was so enjoying walking and saying hello and helping little old ladies cross the street that he lost his way. But he kept on walking. He walked and he walked. Suddenly he realized he was where no one ever wanted to be. You guessed it. He was accidentally on the wrong side of the tracks! Oh no, Mr. Sticky!
Before he new it, Mr. Sticky found himself in a very bad place indeed. The buildings were all run down and vacant and people didn't seem all that friendly. He supposed this was that place people called “the hood.” Oh well. Mr. Sticky gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. He asked some young men for help.
They spoke in a language that Mr. Sticky could hardly understand. But he tried to speak back to them in their own tongue so they would feel comfortable around him.
He didn't know what he said but whatever it was, they didn't like it. They said awful things to him and made odd gestures with their hands. They pushed him and hit him and stepped on his pumpkin-like head. This made Mr. Sticky frightened and very angry.
Oh no. It made him much more angry than that. In fact, it made him very, VERY, MAD!!
That's right, Mr. Sticky. You were pissed! Now, Mr. Sticky had been on the fencing team in high school, and it all came back to him. The training. The discipline. The skill. So he picked up an old broomstick and began fighting them with it. They were losing against Mr. Sticky's fencing technique, while they all swung their bats around wildly. When one of them drew a weapon, Mr. Sticky was able to knock the weapon from their hand. Many others came to join the fray, but Mr. Sticky held his ground until all of them gave up and ran away.
The newspaper found out about Mr. Sticky and called him a hero. They wrote a very nice article about him that made him famous.
A Hollywood producer read the article and made a movie about Mr. Sticky and his heroic fight in the hood. The movie made Mr. Sticky an international star, and now he had fabulous pool parties at his house with all his friends. They were fun parties and there were lots of strumpets. Would you like to go to a pool party at Mr. Sticky's house?
But Mr. Sticky didn't change. He was
still the same old nice Mr. Sticky except now he was rich and famous.
He still fed the neighborhood dogs treats and helped turtles get
across the road so they wouldn't be squished. And he was constantly
helping little old ladies cross the street. Mr. Sticky thought about
his good fortune often, and he guessed the moral of the story is to
always stay true to yourself. Do the right thing and be a nice
person, but don't let people walk all over you. You are not a
doormat. If someone should wipe their feet on you, stick it to 'em.
Respect yourself. And alway remember, as Mr. Sticky's friend Feline Prophet said, "There is no situation too sticky to get unstuck from."
Now, I'll bet you want to see the movie that made Mr. Sticky a star. I've arranged a private screening. It's just the action scene. We had to cut out Mr. Sticky's love scenes because that would be naughty. So here is just the violent part. Lights!
Mr. Sticky Sticks It To 'Em
Photo Credits: The picture of the girl on the railroad tracks by Mr. Write on flickr. The model is Ishe. Picture of four hoodlums by Danrusso.org.
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LOL!!!!! Dear Mr. Sticky. I'm going to be crossing the street tomorrow and was wondering if I could get your assistnace? Thank you so much, Miss Riding Hood.
I'm trying to go to bed, then I see this email and I say to myself, Oooh it's from Christoph so I must read it! But I'm tired, so my eyes are crossing, then I'm laughing so hard I can't see anything, but thanks to my high school typing teacher, Mrs. M. I can type without looking and I know the "feel of the 'Y'", so it's all good. And now I can sleep knowing the turtles are safely across the street, the strumpets and tea are being served properly and Mr. Sticky hasn't changed at all now that's he's rich and famous.
This ends my day pretty darned great!
Umm, I hope Mr. Sticky's wicket didn't get too sticky from all the bloodshed. I'm guessing his strumpets took care of it for him :)
Very cute, Christoph. BTW, did you get my email I sent you over the past weekend?
I think the graphics are hillarious! It must've taken you forever to put this together.
He, he, he, this is really refreshing ! And funny! And special!!! Well done !!!
Brilliant, hilarious, great video (a bit violent but WTF).
You Rock CR!
Excellent!! What a great read. Loved the images!!!
Ooooh gory film...I think I preferred Mr. Sticky when he was helping lil' old ladies to cross the street! But he does prove that no situation is too sticky to get unstuck from! :P
Ah, a new series of children's books! I hope Mr. Sticky will remember his poor old internet friends when he gets his first big advance--Maybe invite them to the pool for a mojito or two?
Nice work Mr. Sticky!
I like Mr. Sticky and his idea of Little old ladies. LOL this was really a great piece Chris. The master has done it again. Looking forward to more from Mr. Sticky and his sticky ways. love the strumpet he is helping cross the street too.
This is absolutely priceless! Laughed, cried, loved the movie!
OMG! Every time I think you've reached the pinnacle of brilliance, you go even higher. This is simply genius. Kudos to you, my creative friend! I enjoyed this so much and appreciate the creative originality you poured into it. Loved the movie, too.
Pam's right, this would make an excellent series. If you're gonna make it for kids though, you might want to keep to the ages of 1-4 or 16+.
Yeah, I know it's for us big kids. :) Mr. Sticky reminds me somewhat of Mr. Bill (remember Mr. Bill?) except Mr. Sticky gets a happy ending instead of being run over or thrown out a window. Not only that, but Mr. Sticky is vastly more interesting and has a moral to his story. I'd vote for Mr. Sticky.
I thought you did a great job on your stick figures! Very realistic, they look like genuine stick figures, not cheap imitations at all.
Aww, thanks! :)
Oh Chris. I got a new hairdoo and put on a lil makeup and my dress up outfit for blondepoet's Celebrity look alike hub. Ya like it? hehe
Chris - What an artist you are. You so make me giggle. I think Mr. Sticky is a dirty old man in disguise and just has you all fooled. :)
Hi Christoph! I slept great knowing Mr. Sticky had the 'hood' in order.. He can wield a mighty sword, indeed! If he is available, I will make room on the couch for him.. lol, (I sleep on the couch) It's quite comfy!!
You're a trooper to keep up the car hunt.. xxoo!! See you in the "tree" house!
Oh dear, Randy B!! Do you suppose it's true? I like my Mr. Sticky fantasy and going to go with that! Isn't ralwus stunning! What's more stunning is the professionals were able to do this in under an hour for less than $25.00! I hear some even volunteered their time for FREE just for the honor!! Outstanding!
One question--What does it mean for something to be "diggley dank"? Cuz what's running through my head surely could not be right!
It was nice of Mr. Sticky to keep his hands above the waist while helping the little old lady across the street. Some stick figures have problems with that.
LM is right. I've been doing some light reading on the 'stick figure lore' and it was mentioned they can become a little to free with their hands. I'm glad Mr. Sticky has good ethics. The couch is made up, he can mosey on over any time! (Do stick figures 'mosey'?)
Oh, by the by, I wanted to compliment him on the flower arrangement in the first frame. Pansys are so dang cheerful and they just whisper "Welcome to my world!"
Mr. Sticky is one bad a** mofo!
if he can just "handle" Al Davis, i think it would be all good in the hood.
Christoph, IF Mr. Sticky is as squeaky clean as you say, then no. I wouldn't be much interested in one of his pool parties. :)
Candie if you really like Ralwus' new do, I can give you one of those for 5 bucks. It doesn't look good on everyone though.
Well if "you'd" be there, who needs Mr. Sticky? Swimsuit optional?
Damn dude, so I was laughing my way along - the strumpets thing was awesome - and thinking, frickin' Reilly has done it again, and then I got to the "I have crippling arthritis in my hands" and just f-ing lost it. G.D. that was funny. I am still chuckling. You always do that, you hit this nice comedic pace and then, subtley, you drop these quiet little sneakers in there that are just f-ing genius in timing and delivery. That was so funny. "Anyone got some aspirin?" lawl.
I would have helped that one old lady across the street too, btw. Several times.
And that movie is priceless. My daughter used to find stuff like that on Something-or-other Strongbad or someplace. It just goes to show that over-production and fancy stuff is not the essence of good entertainment.
Another awesome C.Reilly read. U rule.
Truly wonderful Christoph. At first I expected "Mr Sticky" to have something to do with "post it notes" or "glue", but I soon realised what he was. Total genius on your part, plus brilliantly funny captions to the pics. I loved the "arthritis" comment too :)
Wow you are such a talented writer and animator, luved the video and the story about Mr. Sticky had me in stitches, I was laughing so hard I started to cry... thanks!
Yeah, I suspected you worked backwards on this one. Turned out gud.
Hey Chris
This is definitely one of the most creative and original hubs I have ever read - you were on a mission with this one. Loved the photos and the easy to the brain (meant in a good way, of course) narrative! Enjoyed it thoroughly - another classy act by you. :D
LOL!....I love this....Great work Christoph! :)
Are you mad at me or something? What happened to my comment I left yesterday? I didn't leave a bad one. Confused. Very confused.
may I please have the recipe for strumpets, I will send you mine for trollop-pops???
xo
Randy, I would love a new do, but you're right, that is HIS new look and I don't want to be a copy-avatar..
I came back cuz I've got the hots for Mr. Sticky!
Though overall heroic, I think it was a bit unfair for him to duel these seerely arthritic children.
Okay, then. Maybe a glitch on my end then. I loved it. Yesterdays comment was more eloquent than this, but may I just say I admire Mr. Sticky. I think he's especially kind to be so helpful to old ladies like that. And the moral was satisfying. I, too, thought he was a gonner. But he did what he had to do, and look at him now! It pays to take fencing, doesn't it.
Rochelle, hysterical! I mean... horrible isn't it. But all's well that ends well. At least it was a blunt tip. Wasn't it?
@rochelle- ROFL
First the graphic novel, now the graphic hub. Classic. :D
Well, you know, modern science and all. I stilll say good for him. And pointy stick or no, it does pay to take fencing, that was very smart of him (nice newspaper article by the way, photo or did you make that?).
I love Mr Sticky, can he come and live with me?
Can I have him on weekends?
Feel free to use the line Christoph! Gosh...does this mean they'll hear of me in Hollywood too? :P
So I'm just wondering Christoph, do you eat strumpets with relish, or are they served up with cream?
So you did! I am tickled pink! :P
No, it just sounds gross!
That may very well be Mr. Cook-it-all, but as a double entendre its gross.
Mr. Sticky is my hero. He has supplanted William Wallace. Or, Mel Gibson as William Wallace.
This story is masterfully told. I had no idea there was extant this level of creative talent on Hub Pages. You should be famous!
Thanks. I enjoyed this immensely.
You're just not gonna let me have the last word are you.... are you?
I might try to take the last word since Christoph isn't going to bother. Just because I can.
word...
Sorry, the bucket of words is now empty and I seem to have gotten the last one...which often happens with cookies too for some reason.
My personal favorite was the turtle in the road...LOL! You must have had too much fun putting these images together and I bet you were giggling the entire time. :)
Fun read...hilarious concept...and my personal pleasure that I can say one of the nicest and most talented men I know created it. Bravissimo!
Sheer genius Christoph! Only you could breathe life into a stick figure and make him a hero on HubPages! Strumpets and tea? L'il old ladies? I'm going to die laughing!
Is this hub about Shadesbreath?
Ha! I knew it from the first paragraph. Mr. Sticky looks and acts so much like our Mr. Shades!
I must say, they just don't make heroes like that anymore. I'm projecting into future and the "full-length feature film that will inevitably be made about Mr. Sticky's life. In the old days, Mr. Sticky would be Coop or Jimmy Stewart. Who do you see in the lead role? Denzel Washington? Or maybe Will Ferrell???
Anyway, please let me know when the pool party starts. I'll bake some crumpets; you call out the strumpets. [This has the makings of a Seussian event, doesn't it?]
First off, I again have the last word, so :P
And, don't be fooled people, I was given "beer breaks" alright... but they were 15 seconds long and the only one drinking beer was Christoph, who chugged them in my face, even letting some spill and laughing as my fatigue enfeebled hands groped piteously in the dirt trying to salvage a brew-soaked pebble to at least suck the flavor from. But no, nothing for me. Then he cracked the whip and put me back to posing. And he made me pose with REAL old ladies. That hawt chick up there was totally photo-shopped in along with the figure of Mr. Sticky.
LOL - Totally enjoyed it CR. You are so versatile - do one where Mr. Sticky meets Victor. Who will win in a fight? My heart roots for Mr Sticky, but my head tells me that Victor will probably win.
This was absolutely hilarious. Awesome captions/pictures. Thumbs up for a great job.
Thanks Christoph, very gentlemanly of you. ;)
Well I do spend some time reading hubs but you are right I am lately spending more time on forums...hehe.
PS: There are some folks out there trying to spread so many rumors/conspiracies that I feel more compelled or maybe I don't need to give them so much weightage I don't know....LOL
That was great! I needed that laugh.
WTF was unreasonable about any of those demands? I just reread your list like eight times and there is nothing on there that is not completely reasonable. Also, about those bruises. Look, I was not pinching her per se; it was actually me supporting her, and, you know, because I was concerned for her safety, I used a finger grip technique that is commonly employed when helping hawt chi... old ladies across the street.
So do you used to write for SNL?
Keep on hubbing!
Heads up, CR. I think there might be someone over on the Forums trying to link rumors/conspiracy theories about your with something to do with Sarah Palin, Rudy Guiliani and David Letterman. Or maybe I am getting my rumors mixed up. That happens sometimes!
Still waiting for my invite. Feeling exceptionally "strumpetuous" this evening:-)!
More open source usage. That was fun.
And was the best animated fight I've seen - ever! Good choice.
That was a dude? OMG... wow. You know, I thought her ass was kinda scrawny really, didn't have much curve or, junk-factor if you will. Man. I feel so violated now, honestly. I'm not sure I am going to work with your production company anymore.
lmao--the street thug talk was almost too much for me--and loved his attempt at pushing/ helping a turtle :D lolololololol
No, no. Of COURSE the rumours about you still abound, CR. You still have your cult following -- and always will. I just wasn't sure if I was getting the ones about YOU confused with the ones circulating about Sarah Palin and David Letterman.
BTW, I just heard a rumor that Shadesbreath has defected from your production company over poor working conditions. Wow. That's a bummer! Oh well, you'll always have strumpets!
Impressive, but I perceive Mista Sticky's kung fu is weak. If I did not have crippling arthritis in my hands I would teach him a memorable lesson.
cool! i love stick man so much. They can fight awsomely. There is a better version of stickman flash in youtube. see here http://greymon.blogspot.com/search/label/Stick%20m
where stickman versus its creator, very funny and thrilling :)
I came back to see my man Mr. Sticky. Mostly to see you. I miss our chats!! BTW, love your glasses!
Oh Chris haha I just adored that story, so clever. Also there were not too many big words, I found it so easy to read and follow. I think I am in love with Mr Sticky, he is so adorable I want to take him home, I am serious :)
Ohhhh he said that did he? Ohhhhh tell him I will pick him up from his house at the stroke of midnight. He does not look like he would drive too well so I will take the wheel. Fancy those gangsters picking on him, gee he looked so mad, if only I was there
The ones you're wearing on the tree hub.. makes you look oh so smart!!
Hey Candie was trying to send you a SOS the other day on Skype when I got my hair stuck in the headset haha.
Oh so smart!! And I don't believe it's trick photography, either!
BPoet, that's what Randy said..he was laughing so hard it was hard to tell, thot he said you ran off for sissors to cut the thing out. How did it turn out? (The hair cut).. only a blonde...~
I just got finished watching Seven Pounds, and Mr. Sticky really did suit Will Smiths character?! Except for a certain important part of the movie.
Mr. Sticky what a plight and the moral is so real as everyone should be true to themselves and not get stepped on. I admire what you write Christoph and I do have to say I loved this one! :)
OOO *waving hand wildly* Skyme me skype me!!!! I don't have a headset, it's "hands free" don't ya know!!! She doesn't have a webcam yet.. I'm waiting for her to get up to speed!
Then verbal it has to be!
You just made my day, once again. Yours is such a great complement to the works of a child's humorist who always, always made me laugh...Shel Silverstein. (Never mind that there's no rhyme here!) If he could be writing now, I think SS would embrace Mr. Sticky and his adventures into his venue, gladly and with gusto.
Now it's time for me to start accepting email notifications that Hubbers I admire are writing new Hubs. (I shut that whole notification crap off during the "challenge".) I don't want to be two weeks late commenting on your Hubs.
Oh yeah! Fabulous visuals. :)
LOL. Throw the dog a bone. I will, soon.
Meanwhile, I could see that you had a blast doing this.
In my dreams, I am Wonder Woman, only a slight transformation from the Mr. Sticky persona (more voluptuous, more determined, and less spontaneous, perhaps). We all want to be heroes, now and again, and many of us find that opportunity in ways we never could predict. Sometimes, it just happens.
Thanks again for a great read, a great view into Mr. CR.
mr. reilly, if that is your real name...i am still patiently awaiting my recipe for strumpets...my attempts to recreate them in my kitchen have been disastrous, all that is left from all that kneading and rising is just a large rock hard teether biscuit...
trollop-pops recipe to follow if you will share....
xo
miss b.
I love this - it's a great story and the illustartions are just brilliant. What inspired it - that newspaper cutting?
I came here after reaing you pimple hub, and it occured to me that Mr Sticky cold have helped you out with your pimple problem - he could have poked it with one of those swords he uses in the video .... maybe ...
Christoph - You have created an all-new media sensation of an adult's picture book! It should be in hardcover and on Kindle, also posted on large bulletin boards downtown like the news in Russia. Not exactly the thing I used to see on Captain Kangaroo, but equally amusing and unforgettable. I think I would like to make Mr. Sticky and Honorary Black Belt in my association.
I do hope there is a sequel.
Patty :)
Cool! I see his speciailty is the double middle staff - or more simply, double-sticky.
First, I have to admit that I read this a week or so ago and ran off without leaving a comment, but it's not because I didn't want to! I knew I'd be back to read again because this is MAGNIFCENT. Period. It's brilliant. It's obvious from the comments here that many others can see you put a great deal of effort into this.
This should be published. Maybe give that some serious consideration because this is so hysterical, and the story is illustrated so perfectly.
I often have a hard time picking out one or two favorite things or lines with your writing, and this one is even harder. I really busted a gut over the picture of Mr. Sticky helping the 'old lady' across the street! lol! And the entire 'hood' talk was too funny! I adore the entire thing...the newspaper article, the fight video...everything...bravo! :)
Hey Reilly, if Mr.Sticky has kids will they be called sticky notes, (post it notes) LOL
Christopher, I loved the Mr Sticky story. It is charming, it is ingenuous, it has made me smile. I found it when looking for a picture of an old lady for my own site, and the picture of Mr Sticky helping your particular lady along the road caught my eye. I had to become a "hubber" just so I could comment, but it has been worth it. I am going to search through your other stuff, which I am sure will be as entertaining.
Christoph. I've just read about Mr Sticky's adventure again, and I think I laughed even more than last time. It's no wonder this one grabbed me and drew me into HP so well.
Brilliant
I don't know how many times I have read this and laughed to myself. I have only just learned to stop myself laughing out loud at it. It really is a brilliant piece. It's funny. It's charming. It's wonderful.
I'm not sure... Does your "old lady" have a hyphen? From where I'm standing, she seems to have everything else.
Laugh out loud hilarious!


















































girly_girl09 2 years ago
Phew! I was getting worried there for a while...glad Mr. Sticky turned out to be (more than) o.k!
loved the images...absolutely hillarious! Thanks for an entertaining read. :)