Fun With Gravestones and Tombstone Sayings: Kill Your Friends and Enemies
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Fun With Tombstones
Most people, I think, have at some time contemplated their tombstone and attempted to write an epitaph that would somehow summarize their life. When it came to my attention that there was such a thing as tombstone generators (in an article by Ananta), I visited one and found myself playing happily for an hour, creating a variety of humorous tombstones. And then I began to make them for my friends, which was even more enjoyable because I was poking fun at them instead of me. Plus it showed how much I cared for them in life, to want to make them laugh in death.
And that got me to thinking about other ways the tombstone generator could be used. Could it be used for education? Could it be used for threats? Could it be used to frighten people? Could it be used to make children cry? Yes, my friends, it can. But before we get to the laughing, the threatening, the frightening, and the children crying, let us take a leisurely stroll through the graveyard of tombstone history.
Tombstone History
Marking graves and commemorating the dead has existed for centuries. Originally, prehistoric man used stones on graves to keep animals from digging up the dead, but presumably they didn't list dates, names, or epitaphs, so little was their comprehension of time and poetry or even the ability to write (although I suppose it's possible a grieving family member may have scratched "ugg" into a stone).
As the concept of gravestones progressed, so too did the extravagance with which the dead were buried and memorialized. There were crypts, tombs, and mausoleums and often they would have writing or...you know...that Egyptian stuff, hieroglyphics. But for all its history, gravestones as we know them today have only existed for about 300 years.
R.I.P.
The stele, as the upright stone or slab is called by archaeologists, is one of the oldest examples of funerary practice. Originally, the stone lid of a coffin or the coffin itself was called a tombstone, and the stone slab laid over a grave was a gravestone. Today the terms are all applied to markers placed at the head of the grave. Graves in the 1700's also had footstones to show the foot end of the grave and were rarely carved with more than the initials of the dead and year of death. Unfortunately, many cemeteries and churchyards have removed them to make it easier to cut the grass. In many UK cemeteries the primary or only marker is placed at the foot of the grave.
Graves and memorials are for mourning and remembrance. Since gravestones and plots cost money they are also a symbol of wealth or prominence (Ha, ha! I'm dead and I am still more important than you!). Some gravestones were even commissioned and erected to their own memory by people who were still living as a testament to their wealth and status, just in case nobody else felt so inclined.
So, here are some ways you can use a tombstone generator for the amusement of yourself and others or making children cry. (Ok, I'm kidding about the "making children cry" business...sort of.) It should be noted that the generators will only offer you one tombstone and you cannot put this many letters onto it but you'll get the gist of it and, if so inclined, can make your own as I have done.
Children
There are many uses for the generator where children are concerned. Suppose your kid's goldfish or turtle dies. This often involves a burial in the backyard, so why not make a tombstone image, designed and produced by you and your child to keep as a remembrance? This will also give your tyke the opportunity to express their feelings of remorse. For an epitaph, they might come up with "Goldy was a goldyfish, jumped on the floor and he got squished," or " Timmy turtle, he is dead, now I get a hamster instead."
While the following is more for the parents benefit, it does involve the children. It might even make them cry. Are you tired of doing the Easter thing or paying for teeth that are going to grow back anyway? How about spending a fortune on Christmas presents? The solution is simple. Now you can kill off the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and the godfather of the children's holiday mafia, Santa. In the photo at the right, you can see the actual devastating effects this can have on children, so it's practical and fun! Just imagine it: "You won't be getting any presents this year Johnny...Santa's dead," and then you show them your Santa tombstone. Watch their poor, little faces. Ha, ha!
Threaten People
We've all been there. Somebody has really pissed you off or done you wrong. You want to get them but you are the non-violent type and you have a natural aversion to prison. So what can you do? Kill them! Figuratively. Generate an image of their tombstone and make sure that they see it. It can contain subtle or blatant information on why they are dead - or as good as dead. For example, Spryte might make a tombstone for Shadesbreath, stating "As you have done to Mr. Bunny, So has been done to you." Has a rather biblical ring to it, doesn't it?
If, for example, Shadesbreath was using me as a derogatory example in his hub, I might make one for him stating, "You're really funny! Now you're dead!" or "He who laughs last, laughs...hey, I'm dead! (Ok, so I'm not as creative as he is, but he's dead and I'm not.)
In the same sense, these may be used simply as threats in an "if - then" scenario. Say your neighbor is constantly reporting you to the homeowners association for minor infractions. You might make one for him saying "Report me one more time and you'll be next."
Just remember that the person has to see it for it to be effective. You can hand it to them in person or send it anonymously through the mail. I should point out that using the mail to send threats is against the law in a big way. Postal Inspectors are notoriously humorless. Just make sure you have wiped everything clean of fingerprints, don't lick the envelope (DNA silly!) and mail it from a mailbox far from where you live. Handing it to them could also possibly be considered a threat and could be against the law. Check your local statutes. (For the record, I advise everyone not to do any of these two things described above [wink, wink] and I will not be held responsible for such anti-social, illegal behavior!)
The History of Tombstones
Tombstones of Love
A tombstone generator can also be used as a declaration of love or remorse. No kidding. Your girlfriend or boyfriend or wife or husband has just dumped you. Send them a tombstone. It might say, "I'd rather be dead than live without you," or "Six feet under isn't as lonely as life without you." Of course, this could send them running for the hills, so you might want to send them flowers too. Or "I'd rather die than hurt you" is so sweet I'll give you your money back if it doesn't work. If you've already used every available option, go for the gold: "If you don't come back to me I'll kill myself!" You can back it up or not, depending on your mood that day.
This is the End
Or you can simply do as I have done here. Amuse yourself and show your friends how much you really care. These are just a few ideas. I'm sure you can come up with a whole lot more if you put your creative, morbid mind to it. Just remember, a tombstone picture is worth a thousand worms.
Fun Tombstone Links
For a lot of funny real epitaphs, visit Mistyhorizon's Funny and Bizarre Epitaphs.
Tombstone Generators
http://www.jjchandler.com/tombstone/
http://www.bigoo.ws/generator/tombstone-note-generator.aspx
http://loosfamilymonuments.com/owndesign.php?ID=2&C=GG&pics=2&cl=1
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CommentsLoading...
wow....nice !!
Violetsun: Hi! Glad you stopped by! Ananta's article wasn't about the tombstone generator, he used one to make one of his pictures and that's how I learned about it. The links to his and other generators are listed at the bottom of this article). Yea, I get a big kick out of that picture of the kid and Santa's tombstone. It's funny in a sweet/sad kind of way. Glad you thought it was funny! I try! Thanks for the comment!
rancidTaste: Thanks for dropping by and the compliment!
Interesting hub. No, I haven't contemplated my epitaph.
Writer Rider: Well, alrighty then. Thanks for stopping by and the comment.
Hilarious although a bit bitter sweet. "begs the question". LOL
LOL You are evil Cristoph. Killing Santa? How awful... even I was almost in tears, I have already done my Christmas letter to the jolly old man :)
I must admit that this is a taboo subjet for me... anything to do with death is out. You are the first one who made me laugh about it!
sixty: Thanks for reading! What's bitter? It's supposed to be funny, not bitter. Oh well...too late now. Thanks for the comment.
Princessa...you're a sweetie. Santa's not dead. I promise. It was just a joke by a mean old Scrooge! (my next one is going to be a nice one about Santa, don't you worry). Glad I could make you laugh. Funny, I just came from reading your Barbie hub. I didn't leave a comment because, well, you know, it was about Barbie! Thanks, Princessa! Always nice to see you.
What a relief to know that Santa is ok (sigh of relief) I can be happy again and put on my Miss Santa dress to wait for him ;-)
Actually your hub came timely as I am going for surgery next week and my “thoughtful” husband just asked me a few days ago whether I wanted to be incinerated or buried if the worst happens…(now… that is awful!). I’ll just pass your hub to him to give him some fun ideas to play with J
BTW I knew you were into dolls, but a Barbie is a bit too small for you isn’t it?
Christoph, this is great! I hope that is the way I go. Shopping until I drop. I love Shades tombstone, but don't tell him. Msty's is hilarious, and Ag's, lol! these are just too funny. Great job CR, as always.
Thank God I'm still alive:P Fun hub;)
The best thing when your dead, is a nice tombstone on your head:P
Brilliant Christoph, so funny and I just loved my tombstone, (now there's something I never thought I would say!!). Can't wait for Shades response to his. Will check in later to get an update on the comments made.
Ok, this is frickin' hilarious. I choked on this:
"For an epitaph, they might come up with "Goldy was a goldyfish, jumped on the floor and he got squished," or " Timmy turtle, he is dead, now I get a hamster instead.""
The Santa thing was hilarious, and your little personal ones cracked me up all the way down. I can actually see Spryte putting an emote comment on hers. And, hah hah, I'm dead? Hmmph, we'll see what that gets you in my next hub. LOL.
What a great start to my morning. Thanks.
Simply brilliant. Don't be tempted to make your very classy tombstone useful so soon.
cheers
*walks in, applauds, leaves...
Princessa: I should have figured you would have a Santa dress. I bet he gets more than milk and cookies when he comes to your house! I hope your surgery is routine and everything goes well. Yeah, about your Barbie hub, that will just be our little secret.
Gwendy: Hi! Glad to see you and glad you found it funny. How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. Thanks!
Lazur: Don't worry, I'll kill you next time...because I like you. Nice poem too! Thanks for stopping by and the comment!
Misty: Glad you liked it. I was actually worried you might be offended, so I'm relieved. Thank you for taking the time to write.
Shades: Glad you liked it and found a few laughs in it. Spent so much time working on the images (many of which I'm still not happy with) that I kind of blew the writing part off, so any success is welcomed. Thanks for checking it out and, as usual, your in-depth comment. It's appreciated.
Benson: Thanks for the kind words. Of course I would pick the most ostentatious and most ridiculous headstone for myself. I think maybe you are to liberal with the word "brilliant", but I'll take it and I offer my sincere thanks! Glad to have you visit!
Spryte: Somebody told me you were here, and I looked for you to thank you for coming, but you had already gone. Sorry I missed you. Next time say hello, will ya?
Sorry Christoph...didn't mean to be rude :) I'm in a cranky ass mood today and I'm waiting for the coffee to kick in. Once I'm human, I'll respond more appropriately. *hugs*
/kicks Spryte and tells her to quit being cranky
Spryte: You're not being rude. I'm just trying to go along with the allusion. No, follow this math: Spryte is cute. Cute is hawt. Therefore, Spryte is hawt. And as Shades might say, hawt chicks can be forgiven a multitude of sins. Besides, you obviously were going along with the epitaph, so it was perfect.
Shades: Uh,oh...you kicked Spryte.
Damn...all this abuse! :) It's okay, my math for Shadesbreath goes like this:
Shades is self-admittedly a child at heart, children (especially little boys) have difficulty expressing their adoration of females without getting all physical (i.e. pulling pigtails, smacking you in the arm, kicking) therefore Shadesbreath was just trying to express how much he loves me...
I think.
And yes, I was mimicking my epitaph and Shadesbreath's comment about my emoting :P
Well damn, I think I will go shopping.
Spryte: I think you're right. (sing songy) Shadesbreath likes Spr-yte, Shadesbreath likes Spr-yte!
Gwendy! Where you going? I haven't talked to you all weekend!
I'm not going anywhere CR. I know, I haven't been around much and have been busy when I was at home. it has been a crazy weekend. I am not sure how long I wil get to stick around again as my sister has been put in the hospital and I can't get any information from anybody. I am debating on wether to go take care of things myself if her husband and children don't do what they need to. It's hard to decide to go or not, she lives in Utah and I just don't know if I would just be in the way or not.
gwendymom: I haven't been on much lately either. I am sorry to hear about your sister and hope she is OK. It's a tough decision to know whether to go to Utah or not. Is it that nobody will tell you, or you're having trouble reaching people, or...? Well, that's your business and none of mine. I hope it works out. If I can help in any way, you only need ask. OK?
Christoph, thank you, I appreciate you.
And I, you.
awww, stop it. your making me all warm and fuzzy and I just got over that.
Hi Chris,
Amusing hub BTW. A good friend of mine died very recently of cancer. She knew what was coming, and being posessed of a wicked sense of humour she chose a beautiful Victorian style nightie to be cremated in. She showed it off to all her visitors in advance of the event, assuring them that she'd checked the label, and it was ideal because it was 'highly flammable!'
I can't begin to think what I'd have on my head stone, though hopefully my children will come up with something original like 'I told you I was ill!'
gwendymom: Warm and fuzzy? Maybe you have the flu and need a bath. That explains both the warm and the fuzzy. XXOO
Amanda: Sorry to hear about your friend. That's pretty funny though about the "Highly Flammable". Long time no see. I'm behind on reading what you've been up to as well. I'll catch up soon...promise! Thanks for stopping by!
Spryte: I'm not going to let you play with that mean old Misha today, if it's just going to make you crabby!
LOL! I can't help myself...how do you pummel a person you actually like? Instead I have to be rational and save my bile for making small penis jokes.
You do that. I'll just get this volumn from my library....um....ah, there it is: 1001 Small Boobie Jokes.
I'm on page 207... :)
Roger prefers to break the faces of his friends and enemies. You can only kill people once - but face breaking can be done regularly, ensuring ongoing stress relief. Roger is scientific.
@amanda, if you don't mind, Christoph. I so admire your friend. I only hope I someday find the humor to leave my friends and relatives with a presence like she left for hers.
Now about the epitaphs and tombstones. I haven't been out to that site to concoct some for myself or others I know, but I'm thinking at this very moment that this might work for me: *This Day the Lid Slammed Shut. MSRIP.*
Another wonderful writing, Christoph.
As if I would be offended by such great humour Christoph, I loved it and it really was truly funny :)
Roger Rager: Roger speaks of himself in the third person. Chris is not afraid of Roger. Chris' face has been broken so many times it is now titanium. Chris's face is impervious to Roger's old-timey face-breaking methods. Still, Chris thanks Roger Rager for reading his hub and for Roger's comment.
Sally: Thanks for the read. There is no end for you. You will live forever for your kindnesses in the minds of those you have touched (of course, when they're dead you're out of luck!). Now, now, just kidding. I don't know if your epitaph does you justice. Maybe add in small letters underneath, "Vacumn-sealed in a mason jar and stored in a cool, dark place." So kind of you to give me a compliment. Thank you!
Misty: I don't know why I was worried about that. Glad it isn't so and you had fun reading it. That's what it's for.
I meant the lid on Sally's Trove's treasure chest. But, sincerely, thanks for the heart-felt words. I hadn't thought about being vacuum-sealed, but that might have its merits. (How do you make the sign for raspberries?)
Here's how Sally :P
:)
Sally: Well, stupid me. I didn't get it but you should come to expect that from me by now. My apologies. You know, I really sort of feel that way about you, but I have to put a stupid joke on it because it's embarassing.
Trish: Thanks for helping Sally raspberry me. I would rasberry you back but I have never made an emoticon, and if I've made it this far, why not go all the way?
Another great hub on a fresh (so to speak) topic. You just don't see enough articles about tombstones or tombstone generators these days. You always pick really interesting subjects for your hubs.
I also loved the epitaths, they were chuckly. You obviously know your hub friends pretty well.
Really enjoyed it, thanks for the info and entertainment.
Whatever works for you Chris LOL,,,,the emoticons are from my old days in the chatrooms :)
BTW, I've been trying to come up with an epitaph for myself, and am coming up blank. Any ideas based on what you know about me thus far?
Your're not stupid for not getting it, Christoph. Trish didn't get it either, until we talked on the phone tonight and I explained it to her. I thought you'd both get it, but neither of you did, so, :P on me. (Thanks, Trish, for the raspberry sign.)
BTW, I get it about fewer things than both of you combined. So I'm taking my vacuum-sealer and going to bed now.
Christoph, I like you, too. :) :) :) :) (Doing extra ones for you.)
Sally, what are you dong with that vacuum sealer that you need to take it to bed? :)
Just in case I have to slam the lid down in the middle of the night, Gwendymom, I want to be prepared to provide for the future. :)
Enjoyed this hub Christoph, lots of fun - going to have a play soon!!
Shirley: Thanks so much for visiting and I'm glad you found the article "chuckly." I was going to do one for you as well, which would have said "Probed by Aliens one too many times," but I ran out of room. If I can entertain you, then I am pleased. You are always a pleasure.
Trish: Thanks for your return. Sorry I don't have an epitaph for you. I would need some time, but I'm all epitaphed out, and they don't seem to be working any more. I'll think of one though. Stay tuned!
Sally: I think the reason I didn't get it - and this would apply to Trish too I think - is I don't think of you as Sally's Trove, a treasure chest of goodies if you will, but rather as Sally. So without the concept of a trove, there is no lid.
I think you do need a good nights rest, because your last sentence up there about "getting it" makes about as much sense as me tradin' my banjo for a jew's harp (but I get what you mean). Thanks for the extra one's! Right back at ya!
Gwendymom: Howdy, stranger. New in town?
Ajcor: How nice to have you here. I can't wait to "have a play soon" with you! (Could you tell me what that means?) Your comments are always appreciated!
CR, it sure seems that way doesn't it. Glad to see you on, I was hoping I could have some fun tonight and maybe hijack a hub or something.
Yes it does. Plus I've not been on so much, so it's not often you run into people. Who do you want to hijack?
Are you sure you have time, I really don't want to keep you from other things if you need to go, I'll understand.
Ah, I'm just writing. It'll wait. So you talked to your other sister. Do you feel better?
Well, well, well. Imagine my surprise to return from a long, hard weekend with my dad (ironically, or possibly not... thinking this latest hospital visit might be "it") to find the subject on HP had turned to death. This is an adorable hub, Pepe. So creative, and yet a tad morbid as well (in other words, right up my alley). I am truly flattered to be included in your epitaphs. Must confess, however, that rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated. What came to mind was this exchange from Monty Python & the Holy Grail:
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead. [a man puts a body on the cart] Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one. The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead. The Dead Collector: What? Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead. The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead. Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not. The Dead Collector: He isn't. Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better. Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment. The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart. Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby. The Dead Collector: I can't take him. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine. Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor. The Dead Collector: I can't. Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long. The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today. Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round? The Dead Collector: Thursday. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk. Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do? The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy. [the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club] Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much. The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday. Large Man with Dead Body: Right.
*ears perk*
Hubjacking? Where?
And MM...that is one of my favorite scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
No actually, There was a lot of drama today, and things got really crazy. It's a really long story.
Let's just have some fun and escape the day.
I think MM might be looking for some hijacking fun too.
Yeah! let's go hubjacking!!!!
G-mom. How'd you guess that? Was it my telltale hubjacking garb?
MM: Thanks for stopping by. That is one of my fave scenes from Monty Python too (it works better in live action than in script form).
Hi Spryte: Just over reading someone putting me down on your hub.
MM: Pick a sucker...any sucker!
I just read your other hub, I can't recall the title, but you said you were looking for some fun, so I figured I was too so let's get the party started.
btw, I was lookign for a video for misty's hub on peni, and found a video that reminded me of you and pepe up there. here's the link.
What hub, where?
Link didn't work. youtube says url is malformed, like some guys peni's.
Who was putting CR down on which Spryte hub? Lemme at 'em, lemme at 'em!
Forget about it. I quit anyway. People can defend someone if they want, and they don't care what I think. But you could go beat them up for me anyway, I mean...like if you WANTED to.
I'll break out my ass kicking boots if I need to CR.
MM - It's the Little Timmy hub.
Yeah...Christoph, I kinda felt the same way for both of us. I don't really think Misha will be commenting further on that hub though. I think he pulled an exit stage left even....
That video was awesome! Except as Pepe's spokesman, I can say that Pepe is not the devil, and he is way cuter!
LOL, glad you enjoyed it. I love that guy (Rodney Carrington) he is freakin hilarious!
Spryte: I know. I should have stayed out of it. Like, I got out early cause I felt like I could see where it was going, but I had to follow along, and eventually I jumped back in. By then, I was heated. Anyway, it must have been kind of stressful for you, but you handle that stuff pretty good, and I guess I don't.
Gwendy: I don't think I am familiar with him. I'll have to watch some more of his stuff.
So, anybody pick a hub to wreak havoc on?
Ok. I checked out to go and find a hub to hijack. Found myself sucked into some ridiculous one titled, Will Obama Last? (Don't bother -- it's insane). Now I'm here. Should I go over to the Little Timmy and throw a few punches?Meanwhile, I agree Pepe has it alllllll over Carlos Man of Love. Like Hello? Carlos tells you to look at his crotch and there's nothing there. Where's the carnitas, Carlos??? He could easily be one of CR's inflatable dolls, for crissakes.
CR, really? You haven't heard his stuff before, OMG, you have to get on youtube and check him out. I have all of his CD's and might be planning to go see him in concert after Chistmas. Still in the works though.
I think this one will do.
Christoph - Actually I thought you handled it a lot better than I did. I thought I came across as virulently bitchy even though I was trying to be rationale.
Spryte, CR, I think you guys both tries to to the best you could given the circumstances. It is hard sometimes to get people to see the point you are trying to make. I know this would not have been such an issue if it had not been about such a serious matter. Maybe things just got lost in translation. I hope everyone can recover and get along.
Now I've gotta go see what all the hubbub is about. If you find a hub to hijack I'll meet up with you over there. Toodles.
I think we should hijack "Can you say 'I'm loveable' without wincing"
The writer is pretty good especially with positive self statements...and she's only got two comments. I think she deserves some company.
But let me keep looking...
Spryte, I did not think you came off like that, I think you came off as a concerned person who was trying to prove her point ( a valid one.) Christoph, I think you did the same. Everyone was frustrated and it's a hard subject to tackle.
We all need to blow off some steam!
I found the perfect hub :) It's short...sweet...and has an interesting topic to play with. It's called "Odd Foods" and it's relatively new.
And thank you Gwendy :)
Cool, sounds good to me.
your welcome Spryte, It's just the truth.
Thank you, MM. Pepe will not let that Cretin and his burrito near MM!
Spryte: Thanks for saying that. I don't think so but, if you do, then maybe I wasn't as far out of line as I'm starting to feel.
Gwendy: Yea. I'm done (but it's difficult for me not to defend my statement.) But I shouldn't. I'm not good at that kind of stuff. I'm better at "happy go lucky". Except inside I'm pissed off no hot water guy!
Thanks Gwendy.
OK. Lead the way.
HUGS, It's going to be ok, I promise.
LOL! "Pissed off no hot water guy"
Actually Christoph, I have been tiptoeing around you a bit only cuz I can sense that your nerves are worn thin more so than usual. But you have a cute little snap that warns me to be gentle... :)
Really? You can tell, huh? I thought I was hiding it pretty good.
I'd like to think you were doing a pretty good job too and that my powers of observation are keenly honed and attuned to the smallest vibration in the universe. :)
Truthfully, I don't know if anyone else picked up on it...you'd have to see what they say. But for some reason, I seem to pick up on nuances even in text without meaning to...length of sentences, words used, whether or not the person is thinking "I really don't want to play witty games with you tonight spryte, I'm annoyed and have other more important things on my mind." Hehehe!
Nice to see people getting each other's backs. That did get a little intense over there on the Little Timmy hub. I hope you three (G-mom, Spryte and CR) find a fund place to hang tonight enjoying each other's company.
I think I'm gonna sign off and go cuddle with Hubby and kitties. Tomorrow is a new day! G'night. MM
N'nite MM!
Good night MM, sweet dreams.
Hi Christoph - I did play on your links, thought it was a bit close to home so came up with the following. bit grim I know - sorry. maybe should take my bat & ball and go home. Play by myself.cheers.
Today I played
at writing on gravestones.
Wordplay
didn't stay -
beat a hasty retreat
from my shadow of death.
Touch wood
the reaper grim
leaves me my breath.
No walks on the dark side
we'll leave that for another day.
Missed you by "that much"
Loved my tombstone Chris, I only have one complaint.
You forgot to add my age. btw it is 99???
Ajcor: Aw, your such a poet! You don't need to go home and play by yourself.
AG: Really? You don't look a day over 97!
Hi CR bitter sweet was not meant as in bitter per se but more in the vein that death is a bitter event. Hence the comment bitter sweet. Some people have aversions to discussions around their mortality and are fesrful of it it. No matter the comment was not meant in a negative way.
Ok Christoph, I'll hold you to that :)
Trish <~~anxiously anticipating an epitaph
Sixty: I know. Nor did I feel it was negative (for one thing, I doubt you would leave a negative comment, even if you felt negative about it). I have been told that I seem a little tense lately, and that it is detectable in my responses. So, things come off in ways I did not intend. Sorry for that. No problems here, my friend. Thanks for writing!
Trish: Ohhh, the pressure! I can't take it. How's this, "She ran out of Avatars".?
Hah!!! never happen LOL LOL,,,,
Methinks you can do better than that dear sir :)
Christoph - re. "I seem a little tense lately, and that it is detectable in my responses" I guess if I hadn't had hot water or a computer that worked properly for a number of weeks I would be off my game also - don't worry all will be well ....eventually you will be able to shower and print to your heart's content! My new computer tower still hasn't arrived - 5 weeks but who'se counting?
Nice hub! The ultimate Halloween gag.
I have one for Trish *evil grin*
Here Lies Trish...
Sally can't be far behind.
or if Sally decided to get there first...
She's not here...
Go check the kitchen.
Here's an endevour from my own tombstone generator inside my head:
" Here lies Sprite
I hope we done her right
Otherwise she's gonna rise up and give us all a fright!"
So here lies Christoph Reilly
Among us only a whily
So sad to see him go
But he'll be back
Thought you'd like to know
Great hub!
Pronounce this with a British accent
Spryte, as hawt as she once was
now lies here cold beneath the grass
Now this is getting to be a fun comment thread -- rewriting the epithaphs. Meanwhile, Spryte and Shadesbreath are over in the Religion Forum talking about why Atheism Rules... Here is my contribution for the good of the order:
Happy Hubbers one and all
Came to heed the siren call
Now HP's gone dark as night
Ended when the time was write.
Hi MM, so ths is where you are. I am not going to get involved in the spat kicking off in the Religion Forum as Shades and Spryte seem to have it all under control.
Have you seen my 'Worlds Worst Santas' Hub yet, I put in a cracking picture of Christoph as Santa, plus one of Shades, one of sixty and one of Ananta? :)
Hi Misty! Great to find a friend "available" this afternoon (evening where you are). I tried in vain to figure out what the heck Shades and Spryte were even going on about. It's been like an all-day exchange. Best to stay out and hope they'll tire themselves out and want to come and play nice with others...
Yes, I did see your very funny site on Santas. I left a comment yesterday. Where do you get these wild ideas, young lady? Ananta -- you still about? What did you think of your Santa treatment?
Have you heard from Christoph? I hope he is ok.
Christoph - I'm replying to your emails...are you getting them? If so, send me an email. Perhaps mine aren't getting back to you...but I think you can see this?
*bounces a stale jelly bean off of MM's head*
Hey! Thanks for the jelly bean. I love the black ones best!
You can have ALL the black ones :)
*waves to Chris*
If you can see this...I started a forum looking for help on your pointer problem.
These tombstones are too funny! Well done.
I REALLY LIKED YOUR WORK, DID NOT SEE ANY ABOUT PETS.
@spryte..that's very cool...who knows who will go first, Trish or me. I'm happy that she might find me in the kitchen if I go first. :) But that might freak her out. Regardless, the epitaph works.
Hey, do you realise we can write exactly what we want on Christoph's hubs now as until he fixes his computer he can't sensor or deny our comments, (grins wickedly)?
Remind me to pay my CREMATION insurance bill, lol!
Christoph how does it feel to be penless so to speak?
hilarious
Where's the epitaph for the blue screen of death?
Hi everybody. I want to thank everyone who has left a comment here while I was gone. There's a few too many to get to, but I red them and there is the usual wit and humor which I missed joining in on. Thanks!
Christoph- What would the sayings on my tombstone be?
CW: Hi! Hmmm. Your epitaph? I'll have to think about it.
Christoph- Still thinking need to upgrade to pentium from celeron processor then...hehe
CW: Oh, taking too long, am I? I'll pentium process you! Ok. Here goes:
There once was a girl who ate curry; It fell from her mouth in a flurry;
But she ate so much she needed a crutch; And she wound up down here in a hurry!
Wow.
That
comment
posted
nine
times.
No
kidding!
That's so cute.
Here is my Tombstone saying for you:
If you want to know of someone
who spreads everywhere joy and fun
Who had one of the biggest heart
Even if for us death do us apart
In our memory you will remain Mr.Reilly
No matter whether we depart later or early
CW: Awww. Isn't that sweet. Makes me feel guilty. I'll have to come up with a sweet one.
Christoph- I know you possess a golden heart words are just mere expressions compared to your noble intentions. I am happy to take whatever you say since I know you always mean well for me.
Ahhhh, so funny. Tks. Lassie go get help! hahahaha.
Hi, Jewels! That's my favorite too. Thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment!
Happy 2009 my friend, good to see you. I'm a bit slack on the postings lately but I've not forgotten y'all.
Hi Jewels! And a very happy New Year to you!
ROFL @ your tombstone Christoph! All of them are funny, but yours made me really LOL. :D You know I'm a huge fan of everything you write, and this one is no different. In one of your comments you mentioned that you didn't spend too much time on the wording of this one, but you could have fooled me. It's incredible as always, which proves that you are too gifted for your own good. :D
So you got me thinking about epitaphs, and I came up with a couple I may use:
1. This isn't funny anymore.
2. I'm currently busy being judged and whatnot, so please leave a message.
Big thumbs up on this one. Oh, and I thought killing the Easter Bunny and Santa was hysterical! LOL! :D
Wow. Such kind things you say. Thanks for having a read and leaving a comment.
My epitaph is my favorite one also. Glad you picked the same one! You're epitaphs are hysterical! I can't pick a favorite, they are both so good. I appreciate these words coming from you, as I am a pretty huge fan of yours and your writing, so it's nice to have your compliments! Thank you!
great hub! I might go for "She was OK really, if you like that sort of thing"
LondonGirl: That's a good one! Thanks for coming by to say hello. Always nice to see you!
Thanks!
If your ever in the keys check out the graveyard in key west--lots of great stones there
my fav and a real one is :
I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
next time i'm down there i'll take a pic and send it to you keep up the good work
Jerry Cracker: That is a good one! I have read that before (perhaps on Misty Horizon's hub.) Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment!
awesome
Dock: Thanks for the comment!
Burying a loved one is never easy. We all know how hard it can be. However, the legend you leave behind with memorial gravestone sayings and inscriptions are important for the headstone is more for the living. Don’t get us wrong, they do honor the deceased, but the words read tell people who you were.
Carol: I agree, and if a person has a sense of humor, I don't have a problem with their gravestone demonstrating that fact. I think probably the writings are mostly decided by those left behind, but you would know better than I. How's business, by the way?
You are the only one that can take a deadly serious subject matter and turn it lively!! I can't type anymore for I can't see the screen for the tears rolling down my cheeks from crazed laughter. XD Thanks for killing me....AGAIN!!
Awwww, I'll give you mouth to mouth! You'll live! Thanks so much, Beth, and today the forums lifted my heart (and you know why! wink.) Thanks so much for your attention, every minute is a jewel!
You better make sure I live!! You're sending me to sleep with sweet, sweet dreams tonight. Oh, stop that blushing but keep that smile! xox
sigh
Cristoph-- glad to see you have arisin.
I'm sure I read this a couple dozen months ago, and it's still funny. Fun also to re-read comments from some of the departed. Not 'dearly departed'-- just those who don't come around much anymore.
How perfectly odd...I was just thinking of you an hour or so ago, having read one of your comments on someone else's hub, and I thought I should stop by your place and see what you were up to. So, I'm thrilled to see you, and would be even if it weren't voodoo. I appreciate your comment, and will stop by later for some entertainment from your fine writing.
VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 3 years ago
Hey, I missed Ananta's article on the tombstone generator, will look for his latest hub and peek. This hub was too funny, and oh, dear, that little tyke crying because Santa is dead is adorable. hehe. I am going to play with the tombstone generator.
Thumbs up to your hub!